Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
Let’s look at something real quick. I’m being forced to change my password for Pensacola Pirate Mail. My current password is the default one (Which, I’m telling you since it’s changed): Login10161992! Let’s look at the parameters for changing a password: Must be at least eight characters Must have one uppercase letter Must have one lower case letter Must have one...
me: oh man i'll never run out of chicken in this salad
me: *le eating all the chicken
-five bites later-
me: this salad is shit now all the chicken is gone and it's just lettuce.
Anonymous asked: how often do you have sex?
me: mom, I'm dying.
my mom: NO YOU ARE NOT FUCKING DYING YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOU ARE FINE. YOU AREN'T SICK YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU'RE A LAZY BITCH. SHUT UP I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT EVER AGAIN OR I WILL FIND OUT HOW TO UNDO THE WIFI AND I WILL DO IT. DON'T FUCKING TRY ME YOU SHIT.
my mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
sometimes when i’m typing websites into the url bar, i accidentally add .tumblr.com to it.
Oh and all his other statuses either consist of smoking weed, or liveblogging his adventures in Skyrim.
There is literally one person (From my graduating class, no less) on my facebook news feed that still has the “Fuck school, I hate learning” ideology, and it makes me both simultaneously entertained and disappointed when I see his statuses.
I will literally never cease to be upset with certain people in my family.
I’m going to go to Titanic 3D and bring little spray bottles of water and spray people during the sinking of the ship to help with the 3D experience
When I grow up, I'm going to have my first kid...
bdriz replied to your post: So Kerri has bubble bath and bath salts. No shame… i feel like that was probably the quickest bubble bath ever… Are you kidding me? Blogging and youtubing from the phone, whilst bubble bathing.
alwaysbethedreamer replied to your post: So Kerri has bubble bath and bath salts. No shame… hola! (: Hi Nini! Instead of clogging dashes, I’m going to text you :)
So Kerri has bubble bath and bath salts. No shame in admitting I just took a bubble bath. Now I have about two and a half hours of doing nothing but awkwardly watching youtube videos alone in a house that’s not mine. I’m willing to take conversation from anyone.
pacbro replied to your post: I really want to take a shower, but I’m at Kerri’s… its not like she’s gunna care. its a shower, bro. yea of course she won’t care but i’m sitting here all thinking like “man what if her dad is all like ‘where does he get the audacity to run up our water bill? why doesn’t he shower at home?!” w/e though i’m squeaky...
numbninja36 replied to your post: I really want to take a shower, but I’m at Kerri’s… Do it, just do it. yup totes doing it
I really want to take a shower, but I’m at Kerri’s house and she’s gone for a couple hours. I don’t know if it would be weird or..
Brand New: Have another drink and drive yourself home. Hope there’s ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt and again when your head goes through the windshield.
Mayday Parade: I hope you fall into the ocean, and the current leaves you helpless, swimming around, as the waves crash over you until you drown and float away.
The Maine: You’re as fake as the moans you make. And you’re as weak as the hearts you break.
We are the In Crowd: You’re not quite Satan, but I really think I hate you.
All Time Low: THAT GIRL THAT GIRL SHE’S SUCH A BITCH
me: I should go shower now
(five minutes later)
(another five minutes later)
(yet another five minutes later)
(more five minute intervals)
someone: (goes into the bathroom)
me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower